Empty Threats and text message miscommunication

So last night, K-State played Mizzou in basketball. I didn't watch (is anyone surprised?) but about 8:45 pm, I received a phone call from Dad.

"Darcie, you tell Dave that if he doesn't cheer for K-State, the wedding is off."

I laughed and sent a text to David. He countered something about a rubber game, whatever that means. I informed him that an appropriate response is, 'of course, honey. I love you WAY more than Mizzou.' David failed.

Earlier that same day, David managed to type the wrong thing. Text message is hard! I had called our church to find out possible dates. I sent David the following text...
"Church available all July and Aug and Sept except 9/19 and 9/26. Cost is $XXX [way too much]. Thoughts? What about 8/1?"

David replied, "Darcie...I am having a hard time breathing...something is wrong with me...$%$#"

Not exactly the response a girl is looking for. Luckily, my phone rang before I saw the text with him explaining that he didn't see my last text and was really having difficulty in breathing. Hmmmmm....