Letter to Friends

I read this blog post this morning on Scary Mommy and I had to laugh. 

For those of you who don't like to click links, I've added the letter below.

Dear (insert name here),

I would like to say that I’m sorry.

I am so sorry that while you were telling me all about one of the most important parts of your day, week, year my two year old thought it would be a perfect time to take a massive poop and announce it to all who were in a 280 mile radius of us.

I am sorry that while we are trying to have a very serious conversation about real estate, politics, spouses, careers, reality TV, Dr. Visits, restaurant reviews, a new wine you recommend (do you have some with you now?!) home renovations, family, money, and vacations my two year old repeatedly yelled mommy at the top of his lungs until we both could no longer ignore it.

I am sorry that while we were trying to catch up about life in general my two year old was asking for a snack as if I haven’t fed him in 5 days, 6 hours and 3 minutes.

I’m sorry that by the time I got him said snack I literally forgot what we were talking about so we both put up the white flag and surrendered to the fact that we may never know. The conversation we were attempting to have has been put into a secret vault that only toddlers hold the key to.

I am sorry that the friend, sister, daughter, cousin, wife, niece, granddaughter who used to listen to you without any distraction is suddenly like trying to talk to a puppy, on crack, who just saw a squirrel and possibly has to pee.

Please take note that this is in no way a reflection of how I feel about you.

This is just me… oh crap my kid is chucking sand at another kid, oh shit he’s under water, oh my god how is he already up by the playground, HEY PUT THAT ROCK DOWN MR.!!!, What are you eating now??? Is it actual food??? Okay sorry where was I? And THIS is exactly what I mean.

Just know that I miss you and I promise when my child turns 33 I will be able to sit down and catch up on all the awesome things going on in your life.

Until then it’s literally going to be a crap shoot. I am left with no choice other than to tell you I will see you in 30 years, for now I surrender to the toddler.

My deepest apologies,

Me.

 This very well could be the truest thing I have ever read..except for that I'm not allowed to have wine right now, however much I would love it.

To confirm this, here is a picture of Mac roughhousing with a dog when we were having dinner at other people's home.  He jumped on the dog until the dog got threatened and then we had to physically separate them before someone got hurt.  Really, I was protecting the doc as much as I was Mac.